Unconditional Respect

"What men need is respect. Men need to be respected for who they are, not for what they do. If they don't feel respected, they can't survive. It gets harder and harder for them to breathe emotionally. That is why it is so important for a woman to learn to give her man unconditional respect. If a woman will learn to risk respecting her man when he is not perfect, he will open his heart to her and will become pliable to change." (page 78, Laughing Your Way to a Better Marriage)

I guess I have it all wrong. Sometimes I feel that my husband should act a certain way before I can respect him. I expect him to do something first and earn it. I never really thought it being unconditional respect to do the opposite.

Marriage is difficult and I really stay on the selfish side. God helped me to see that when I started to listen. The truth hurts at times and humbles us to see an image that we sometimes feel does not exist. I did not think I was selfish because I am more submissive. But when it all comes down to respect, I tend to think that it is earned, as if my rights are being violated as a wife and I should put my foot down. When I look back on that silly, self centered revelation, God shows me the truth, and I don't like it!

One scripture always comes to mind when I think of respect. "A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions." Proverbs 18:2 The foolish side of me speaks without understanding, demands without understanding, and refuses to show respect without first being understood. Maybe I should pay better attention to the fact that as a wife, I should give unconditional respect first.